today: video clips galore of childbirth. one had a big blue baby with its shoulder stuck in the canal. sca-ry. another video showed a doctor with his/her two hands in the vaginal canal along with the baby. ahhhhhhhhh! how on earth is there enough room for a baby’s head AND two hands? ‘just reach in and dislodge the shoulder’, they say. good grief. the whole thing made me cringe and reconsider my future plans to have children of my own. i can still hear the mothers screaming in the background. the pain! the horror!

afterwards, i delivered a plastic baby out of a plastic pelvis. head, anterior shoulder, posterior shoulder, squishy body –> success! it was like pulling a water baby (remember those? it wiggles and jiggles and feels so real! it’s my water ba-a-bee!) out of an oversized barbie whose legs had been amputated. i actually prefer it that way. no muss, no fuss, no gooey placenta shooting out afterwards. AND… the plastic pelvis isn’t screaming, “owwwwwwwww! it hurts! it hurts! it huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts!”.

as if labor wasn’t bad enough, pregnancy comes with a whole other load of fun things for me to fear:

- hemorrhoids
- acne
- SIGNIFICANT HAIR LOSS 2-4 MONTHS AFTER PREGNANCY [because really, i haven’t lost enough during med school]
- increased lumbar lordosis –> back pain
- UNSTEADY GAIT –> INCREASED FALLS [i’ll be padding my entire house, thankyouverymuch]
- blurred vision

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 10th, 2005 at 10:44 pm by mi and is filed under medical school. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.