it’s official! tram and i are on our way to guatemala for a month of learning spanish, urban medicine, and rice and beans! we might even have time to climb a volcano. we’ll see.

and by the end, i will be able to translate and sing this song:

El Mamut Chiquitito parte

Un mamut chiquitito keria volar
probaba y probaba y no podia volar
una palomita su amiga lo quiso ayudar
y de un quinto piso lo hizo saltar

y que paso (ratinhos)

Mierdaaaaaa, el mamut se hizo mierda
Mierdaaaaaa, el mamut se hizo mierda

Un mamut chiquitito queria fumar
probaba y probaba y no podia fumar
un perro su amigo lo quizo ayudar
y 500 cigarrillos lo hizo fumar

y que paso (ratinhos)

Cancer, al mamut le dio cancer
Cancer, al mamut le dio cancer

Un mamut chiquitito queria tomar
probaba y probaba y no podia tomar
un oso su amigo lo kiso ayudar
y 6 litros de wiski lo hizo tomar

y que paso (ratinhos)

Cirrosis, al mamut le dio cirrosis
Cirrosis, al mamut le dio cirrosis

Un mamut chiquitito queria debutar
probaba y probaba y no podia debutar
un burro su amigo lo quiso ayudar
y con 100 prostitutas lo hizo devutar

y que paso (ratinhos)

Sida, al mamut le dio sida
Sida, al mamut le dio sida

un mamut chiquitito se queria drogar
probaba y probaba y no se podia drogar
un gato su amigo lo kiso ayudar
y 10 lineas de coca le hizo probar

y que paso (ratinhos)

sobredosis, el mamut con sobredosis
sobredosis, el mamut con sobredosis

y ahora que le paso (vozes)

Se murio, el mamut se murio
Se murio, el mamut se murio

sing along here.

dermatology is fun!  every other patient gets a procedure, and we see everything from hair loss to skin cancers to acne.  there’s another office i may visit that does more cosmetics– laser hair removal, photofacials, etc.  i’m SO doing this later.  the only sucky part of this rotation is that we’re standing all day long… and it’s a long day.  bah!

in an unexpected turn of events today, i found myself doing OMM on my cardiology rotation. one of our patients came in with a frozen shoulder, so my preceptor asked if i could do anything for her. but of course! so there i go, teaching my funny doctor how to do the spencer technique on this poor little old lady.

good times.

yesterday, in the midst of an otherwise boring day, i got to use the defibrillator on an actual patient! he had new onset a. fib that was not responding to the sotalol… so we shocked him! it was very exciting. 1 jolt and he was back to sinus rhythm. everybody celebrate!

4 weeks working in a pediatrician’s office and all i got was a phlegmy cough.

bah!

i’ve finally moved my site over to a new server and a new blogging platform– hopefully this will keep the spammers at bay. time for an update:

on my last day of my IM rotation, i went down to the ER to see one of our “revolving door” admissions. he was a 96 y/o elderly asian male, cachectic and unresponsive to me calling his name. i put on gloves(the guy had a history of mrsa) and proceeded to tap him on the chest. he wakes up at once, opens his eyes and straining, he says, “ba-na-na”. now i’m standing there confused, because i had thought this guy was chinese speaking-only. so i repeated, “banana?” he raises his head off the bed, and looks at me, “i want a banana. for fooooood.” he then drops back into bed, and goes back to sleep.

me: how are you?
him:banana.
me:hello?
him: banana.

i give up.

now, i’m doing endocrine/IM in little armenia– yet another rotation full of patients who don’t speak my language. bah! so… my learning comes from the clinical pearls and random stories that the doc tells me… and playing with all the toys from the pharm reps. good times.

one of the nice things about working at a predominantly chinese/asian-run hospital, is that you get chinese or some other asian style lunch every day. tofu, steamed rice, stir fry, and yesterday… thit kho! with an egg! it reminded me of my youth. mmm. tuesday, they served giant bowls of shaved ice with all the fun jellies and fruit cocktail… yesterday, pineapple coconut ice cream. it’s dangerous down there in the cafeteria.

so, after a week of binging on fun foods, i’m fasting this morning while waiting to get my cholesterol checked (for free!) from the hospital. i’m fearing the results– two weeks of eating everything in sight in italy isn’t going to help it. vytorin, here i come!

or… i could just chomp on the metamucil crackers that my classmate loves so much.

patient 1 (male): “i hear voices. my landlord’s out to get me because i slept with him and now he thinks he controls my life. i like orientals. i once dated a half japanese half filipino girl. i like your dress.”

patient 2 (male): “have you ever seen an anatomy book? do you know everything in it? can you name everything now? you don’t know anything! you’re only qualified to look in eyes and ears… and you’re going to be 26 and a doctor.” [stands up] “i’m sorry, i was sitting down.” [starts crying] “i’m sorry!” [walks away]

patient 3 (female): manic female who proceeds to smile and wave at me during the entire session. “what’s a nephrologist? OOH!”

patient 2 (again): “hey baby girl! come over here, i wanna talk nice to you!”

patient 2 (again): “i like oriental girls. are you married? i like meeting all of the beautiful women here.”

patient 4 (male): “i’ve never had a girlfriend. i’m a virgin, and i’m not embarrased to say it. i don’t discriminate. if i were to fall in love with an african american, asian, hispanic girl it would be ok.” [stares at us during the entire group session.] repeats, “i don’t discriminate. i’ve never had a girlfriend.”

last day tomorrow!