Q: What’s the difference between a geneologist and a gynecologist?

A: One looks at the family tree, the other looks at the family bush.

dontcha just love old creepy doctors?

i’ve been lazy with my postings recently, preferring instead to come home from work and collapse on the floor. i blame the URI that my FP rotation gave me as a parting gift. i’m a bit sad that it had to end, though (the rotation, not the illness). i loved working with my preceptor, and loved sitting around chatting with her about random events, the lakers, food, everything during our down time. on my last day, we had cake (i love wheatberry!) and had lunchy at a patient’s mexican restaurant. frijoles. mmm.

i started my surgery rotation on monday– clinic with a cute doc who reminds me of aladdin or some dashing cartoon prince. tuesday was clinic again, but with a young doc who is just SO EMO. lol. most of my time is spent following around my fellow– who is absolutely hilarious.

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after diagnosing scads upon erythematous scads of strep throat this week… i have developed it myself… i think. it hurts. bah! where’s my tea?

on the up side, FP is fun.

IM still sucks.

today was a light day at the hospital — so grace and i actually got out early/on time for once. woo!

things that i have learned on this rotation:

- glucophage can cause diarrhea

- if a patient doesn’t poop, he can become confused/obtunded

- if you want to get a nurse’s attention, scream her name repeatedly. if she doesn’t respond, start pinching her butt until she does. if she’s not in pinching distance, pinch a nearby nurse’s butt until that nurse runs away and gets the attention of the one you want.

- every day is bad smell day

- you can admit a patient from the ER if the docs can’t find his testicle

- there’s always a patient who needs an I & D

- even cuckoos get sick

- the 605 is not a happy place to be around 6pm

the new rotation started this week– makes me long for the days of lounging around the office with grace. boo. i have two preceptors this time.

when you walk into the first guy’s office, the first thing you notice is the smell of incense and the very asian, very minimalist decor. the office is small, one treatment room, one meditation room, and one random room o’ junk. i spend most of my days with this guy holding feet. every once in a while i hold a sacrum. it’s like cranial week… but without actually ever touching a head.

when you walk into the second guy’s office, the first thing i noticed was the stench of singed pot (which he later clarified as another plant, which i can’t remember the name of) and rottting deathness. at the entrance, a large leather dog facimilie guards funky foamy green couches. this office is larger– it’s a “wellness group” of doctors (mostly MDs) specializing in alternative therapies. this doc talks more– explaining and pimping all through the treatment session — which i’m thankful for. i fall asleep less there. of course, with all of the pimping comes homework. i have a paper to do, and random factoids to look up. i really don’t mind the extra work here and there, i actually feel like i may learn something.

the only thing i hate: the drive. the 110 takes me through the horror that is LA. the traffic is maddening– when i’m not slowed to a crawl, i’m fearing for my life as beemer after beemer decides to jump out in front of me and slam on the brakes or simply swerve from lane to lane with not so much as a hand signal to tell me to get out of the way. i come home with a sore jaw from all the teeth clenching i do on my commute.

i found this article while browsing a medical journal today and immediately began to imagine a bunch of obsese dementia patients terrorizing the city.

can you imagine?

it was bad enough trying to do a pap on a small dementia patient– imagine trying to restrain a large one– and trying to avoid her kicks. oy.

life at the Medical Clinic is a far cry from that of my last adventures at County Hospital… g and i work with one doc, who’s amazingly laid back although he’s quite busy. we see a few patients at a time– at a nice leisurely pace– no screaming at nurses, no searching for equipment, no unhappy people!

so… we’ll get in around 815, see some patients… tuesday and thursday the drug reps bring gifts, friday they bring food… we get wednesday afternoons off… and we leave somewhere around 530 or so, depending on the patient load.

cherie-berry left me a nice note hidden in the corner of the doc’s desk– thanks cherie! i now know not to throw away the urine, to change the paper, to bribe the doc with tea, and where to get good sushi nearby. yay!

oh, and g and i were quite amused by the picture above on the diabetes med containers– and spent time deciphering the organs. not too much time, of course– the pancreas just tripped us up. then randomly, we go to see the pulmonologist… and he’s got little stuffed beanie baby-esqe versions of the gallbladder and muscle. i want.

today, i ran off to the madness that is LA for some shopping and food with maggie and her sister. we ran around the grove, picking out random fabulousness (like, a $20 silky shiny blouse from BR) and chatting about all of the wonderfully unimportant things in the world (like, what’s going on on the new season of lost?). afterwards, we ate at the feast of san gennaro– truffle gnocchi, calamari, caprese salad, and a giant meatball. mmmm. then… we were off to the beverly center for even MORE shopping and tea.

big thanks to maggie for braving the horrendous LA traffic. she’s my hero.

dinner was at saladang song with ryan and the mom– great food, great presentation, great great great. we sat underneath the stars and quite close to a heat lamp.

it was a good day.