… you think you’re fine, and then BOOM! there’s something way out there.

i started on surgery today: total abdominal hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. the doc let me slide my hand all around her insides to feel the liver, kidneys, gallbladder (complete with gallstones), and other fun stuff. it was a 2.5 hour procedure– i stood on a stool and retracted, snipped pieces of sutre, and stapled the skin up. woo!

too bad that was our only patient for the day.

the rest of the time was spent in clinic seeing masses of women with ob and gyn issues (among their other issues). pts included:

- hydrocephalus girl(2 shunts!)/short gut syndrome with new onset severe body odor

- dementia patient who nearly kicked me in the face when i tried to do a pap (even though she was being held down by two women. the sedation wore off too soon!)

- gunshot wound victim with itchiness/smelliness. she lifts up her shirt nonchalantly and, lo and behold, there’s a giant scar on her abdomen plus an extra hole off to the side where her intestines are sticking out.

- two non-english speaking patients, one of which i attempted to speak with. dolor? a qui? poquito. ahhhhhhhhh. i am accomplished! time to get that medical spanish book.

the doctors are lighthearted and hi-fricken-larious. we’ve got one going off on the “lost art” of women serving men. he reminds me of the new song “cater to you”. another laughs loudly all the time and jokes about mormon people (there are at least 2 mormon students). one doc turns red when he laughs/talks/sits. and the last one, well, i made his eyes water and totally grossed him out when describing a patient’s newly-aquired, quite pungent body odor. they make clinic more fun– it’s like doing work with your drunken grandfather(s).

so… i ended up doing 2 paps (attempting 3), 3 breast exams, played with the doppler on nice pregnant womans bellies, 5 mini-physicals, and had lunch with the boys at some shady chinese buffet.

oh, the joys of ob/gyn.